Diversifying Your Emotional Portfolio
If you’ve ever spoken with a financial advisor or have taken a course in finance/investment, a common talking point is diversifying your portfolio (oftentimes in the form of mutual funds). This approach decreases risk. As the saying goes, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”
Why would we not do the same with our emotions, environments, relationships, support, self-care, etc.?
A while back I was working with a client that put all their emotional eggs in the basket of their profession. Their identity was derived from their success. If they were successful at work, then they were happy, and the world was in order. If they were unsuccessful, then they were miserable, and the world was a breath away from the apocalypse.
This mindset was partly attributed to the messages conveyed in their family. Parents thrived in their professions and encouraged the pursuit of success in nearly all areas of life. Failure and mistakes were unwelcomed. Thus formed the view that in order for someone to experience satisfaction it came at the cost of invalidation – oftentimes in the form of guilt and/or shame.
A topic that we focused on in our work was “diversification.” If this individual would be able to create a sense of self (beyond work) then their emotional portfolio would have less risk. In other words, if work performance suffered then other ‘investments’ would subsidize their emotions. Social relationships would provide encouragement, validation, wisdom, distraction. Physical activity would help with exerting energy or pent-up emotions. Hobbies would foster an alternative sense of accomplishment. Hopefully you’re getting the picture.
We are doing ourselves a great disservice when we lack emotional diversification. In addition to mitigating risks to poor decisions it creates opportunity to grow the ‘investment’ in ourselves. Our emotional portfolio demands that we make more robust decisions by tapping into the various investments that we cannot afford to miss out on. Even therapy can help to diversify your emotional portfolio - a relationship that can provide unbiased support/feedback and help you to look at your experiences/difficulties from a different point of view. Perhaps similar to this post.
Most importantly, you DESERVE the option of diversifying your emotional portfolio. Invest in yourself today!
This post was written by Dr. Barek Sharif, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and founder of Thrival Therapy. Dr. Barek Sharif specializes in working with men’s and couple’s issues.
