Why Does Therapy Suck for Men?

Well, it shouldn’t, but it sure seems like it does. There are a few things that can make therapy less than ideal for men. Let’s start with the elephant in the room – guys don’t do therapy because they’re “weak” if they do. This is the sentiment that so many people believe, which results in mental health practitioners tailoring therapy specifically for men.

Society looks down on men who seek support because men are supposed to be self-made and the answer to every male problem is, “man up.” What does this mean? Not to step on anyone’s shoes, but there is no such thing as a self-made man. No one can do it alone no matter what they say, and I’d like to make the argument that most men could benefit from therapy.

How do men fix problems? By solutions and actions. This is where dudes will say talking about problems doesn’t help. I disagree. When problems are processed specifically through talk therapy this can help tremendously. In therapy we call this ‘processing’. Processing is finding what underlines our actions through thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

What does therapy specifically tailored for men look like? With therapists taking an active and direct approach focusing on practical goals and solutions. This is the “in” to hit the “fix it” part of guy’s brains. Once bought in, therapy then can explore the emotional drives of men that are often at the heart of therapy.

This post was written by Brenton Love, Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at Thrival Therapy. Brenton specializes in working with masculinity, ADHD, and discovering purpose and meaning.